Basement Obsessions
by Riboflavin
Summary: Bwah hah hah! I am back! ...actually, I don't think I was here before...yes I was! I am RugbycatRiboflavin! How ya doin?


Basement obsessions  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned FFX/FFX-2, I wouldn't write fanfics.  
  
Rikku & Paine: YUNA/YUNIE! (they catch her by the hands)  
  
Paine: She didn't take her pills!  
  
Rikku: I saw her swallow them!  
  
Paine: She probably hid them under her tongue again!  
  
Brother: What's wrong? Is Yuna okay?!  
  
Paine: She's about to fall to her DOOMED death upon the DOOMED mountain!  
  
Brother: AHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I am there!  
  
Paine looks below Yuna, into the mountain crevace, and sees Brother scampering every which way.  
  
Paine: Wow. He wasn't kidding (lets go of Yuna, which is too much weight for the weak Rikku, and drops her too)  
  
Rikku: Paine!!!!!!! What is it with you and pain?!  
  
Paine: I dunno, one would kind of figure by the name. Hmph. Speaking of pain-shoves Rikku, who falls with Yuna-have fun!  
  
Rikku: You psyco! hears Paine laugh and evil, sadistic one  
  
Both Rikku and Yuna land on Brother, who looks strangly excited when wakes from conscienceness  
  
Brother: Yuna AND Rikku!  
  
Rikku: struggles under Yuna's waking form WHAT!?!?!?!  
  
Brother: smiles a freaky smile that sends a disturbing shivver up Rikku's spine  
  
Rikku: SICKO! flies up under Yuna, who crashes aside, and begins at kicking Brother vigorously in the side with a GREAT HUGE HUMONGOUS fury SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO!  
  
Brother: gasps I was kidding Rikku! I don't think you're hot! I don't watch you sleep at night!  
  
Rikku: screams and picks up Yuna by the legs and continuessly hits Brother with her like a baseball bat SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! stops when realizes that Brother actually seems to enjoy being bloodily beaten by Yuna  
  
Auron: comes out of nowhere Go SHEBA! Kimahri comes out of nowhere and rips Brother to shreds  
  
Brother's screams of agony finally wake Yuna.  
  
Yuna: Auron! You're back!  
  
Auron: Fumbles words Um-uh-NO I'M NOT! throws a small sphere on the ground that bursts into gas, when it clears, he's gone  
  
Yuna: NO!  
  
Rikku: We fight for Middle-Earth! helps Kimahri smash Brother  
  
Yuna: shrugs and grabs a tree-trunk from its roots You'll never get Cold Mountain!  
  
John: comes in Okay guys, you're WAY off the script.  
  
Wakka: Ya?! Well, you're only stage crew in FFX, in FFX-2 you're Gippal, NO ONE ELSE!  
  
John: You're not even in this scene!  
  
Wakka: And Brother isn't supposed to be dead, ya?  
  
John: WHAT?! shoves everyone aside and looks at Brother's mangled body. Then bends down and feels for the heartbeat I hear the "BA" but not the "BUM" hears BUM Oh! There it is! Okay, I won't arrest you guys.  
  
Yuna: Arrest us?  
  
John: flips open his wallet, revealing a badge FBI, you guys could have been assaulted for murder.  
  
Yuna: Oh. throws the tree-trunk aside  
  
John: I'm here to make sure you guys don't commit another murder, they say that Seymour was just an actor, but I think he was real, and you murdered him--SEVERAL TIMES! People have never believed me-hunches down, fumbles fingers--and mother never paid much ATTENTION to me, but I'll prove it-I'll show you ALL!  
  
Yunalesca: walks in What's going on?  
  
John: points accusingly YOU! I remember what YOU did! You were the one who killed off Auron with your good looks. No man could resist your charm!  
  
Yunalesca: He was just an actor.  
  
John: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was gazing into your eyes!  
  
Rikku: Eyes?  
  
Brother: lifts head, and at one glance of Yunalesca is filled with energy anew AHAHAHHAA! What was I thinking BEFORE?!?! runs to hug her, but Yunalesca gives his the Auron slap, sending him flying  
  
John: SHE"S AT IT AGAIN!  
  
Yunalesca: points to Lulu who hasn't had one line so far She told me to!  
  
Lulu: Don't push this on me!  
  
Yunalesca: You're just jealous that I'm prettier!  
  
Lulu: I'm not the one who wears a swimmingsuite 24/7!  
  
They get into a cat-fight. Brother watches intently, while John pulls out his gun and can't quite figure out which one to shoot. So Yuna knocks them out with the side of her gun.  
  
Yuna: I'm prettier than both of you combined!  
  
Kimahri: Narrator care less! It's only the guys she cares about!  
  
That's right! So I lock Shuyin, Tidus, John/Gippal, Barali(am I forgetting anyone? I think not) into an underground lair, shackled against the walls. MUAHAHAHA!  
  
Shuyin: whines I want to see Lenne!  
  
Tidus: whines I want to see Yuna!  
  
John: whines I want to see the cat-fight!  
  
Barali: whines I want to see a skin doctor!  
  
Me: evilly Well, too bad! You're in my lair now, don't even think- hacks and chokes, revealing a blue firball, but my accent comes out fine-Don't even think about escaping.  
  
Barali: That's curious.  
  
John: That's crazy.  
  
Tidus: That's--eww.  
  
Shuyin: I'm a little turned on.  
  
Me: I knew it! I knew you were the twisted one!  
  
Shuyin: Don't tell me you understand!  
  
Me: What? I thought we were communicating.  
  
Shuyin: Lenne?  
  
Me: What?  
  
Shuyin: We can finally fade, together?  
  
Me: Uh-okay, whatever blows your skirt up.  
  
Shuyin: YOU ARE NOT LENNE!  
  
Me: WHAT?!?!?  
  
Shuyin breaks free from the shakles and tries to hit me, but I grab his fist and say "Hi there." Finally getting why he's freaking out.  
  
Me: Let's go home.  
  
Shuyin: After these centuries, this moment is all we get.  
  
Me: already tired of acting Look bub, you're trapped here, I'm all you got, accept it, or I'll sick Kimahri on you!  
  
Tidus: Kimahri's Auron's kitty!  
  
Me: You! Keep your mouth shut! You're in enough trouble as it is, young man!  
  
TIdus: SORRY! cries  
  
Me: Man, somethings missing here.  
  
Shuyin: YOU ARE NOT LENNE!  
  
Me: Oh, shut up!  
  
John: Can I say something?  
  
Me: NO!  
  
Barali: I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!  
  
Me: Can it wait?  
  
Barali: NO!  
  
Me: HOLD IT!  
  
Barali: I can't!  
  
Me: Don't make me put a diaper on you!  
  
Barali: grunt  
  
Me: Something's wrong here, I've kidnapped a bunch of babies.  
  
Seymour: How about me? gives a toothy grin in his superman suit, hmph, he must use Crest  
  
Me: How about no?  
  
Seymour: Oh, come on! It bites being dead!  
  
Me: Get a haircut and I'll think about it.  
  
Seymour: Can do! disappears  
  
Me: I give up, I guess nothing beats the original--OH, SESHI!!!  
  
Seeshomouru comes out of nowhere, and indeed, saves the day. 


End file.
